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How to cope after losing your baby

17th February 201911th May 2018 by Khurshid Ali

If you’re here because you or someone you know has lost a baby, I’m so sorry. Any bereavement is painful, but the loss of a child is devastating. Whatever the age of your child, and whatever the circumstances, having to bury a child is out of the natural order of things. It’s the most difficult thing a parent can face.

Losing your baby early in pregnancy can be just as heart-breaking because you form a close bond with your child as soon as you find out about the pregnancy. You imagine your future as a new parent and your child growing up, and with the loss of your baby your dreams and expectations are lost too.

There’s no wrong way to feel

The importance of self care

17th February 201927th April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Do you remember the days when you would have a day to wash your hair, or have a girly night out with friends to relax? That is caring for yourself, and enjoying life.

If you have suffered a tragedy through some form of loss, those days just become past memories, as you tend to feel that, that was a different you, and now you are not the same. Your point is true, however, you can still find ways to self care without feeling guilty, or feeling as though you don’t deserve to be happy. Are you aware that Happiness and self care are not the same thing. They appear that way but they are not. Are you wondering what is the difference? Self Care is is looking after yourself daily, bathing, household chores, looking after family if you have them. Happiness is a state of emotion, encompassing joy.

The importance of identifying signs of anger

17th February 201917th April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Anger as we know, is part and parcel of our lives and stems from unresolved issues we have over time. When our handling capacity has reached its peak, anger can emerge as we panic, and are unable to see a way forward.

There are tell-tale emotions that we can identify with, and should look out for which are listed below.

Signs to look out for

Emotions stirring within the body – feeling of some emotion stirring in the body and heading upwards. This can feel like a volcano erupting, or steam coming out from your ears. It is important you listen to what they are telling you, as this is the sign that you need to take a step back and see what is happening in your life, and see if it is something you can change.

6 things to help support your friends through their grieving process

17th February 20193rd April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

We all know how hard it is when our friends have lost someone they have loved be it a child, parent, spouse, relative, friend. Has this led you to not contacting them because you don’t know what to say or how to behave? Have you walked across the road, or turned into another shopping aisle when you see your friend? These are all behaviours that we tend to adopt when we are out of our comfort zone. The truth is there is no manual on how to behave, it is all in your own hands how you be behave. What you can do is imagine what you would like your friends to say to you if that had happened to yo Inspiring note u. That will always give you a starting point.

What can I do? How you can help overcome your fear:

Miscarriage is a terrible loss, but there are ways you can move forward

19th March 201819th March 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Losing a baby before they are born is painful, heart wrenching, and it is so easy to blame ourselves for miscarrying. The torment of thinking of the “I should have done this” happens. Those words are your emotions talking, and in reality this is not true, as soon as we find out we are pregnant, we automatically start becoming careful, we:-

Start eating more healthy, avoiding eating food which is not good for us,
Have cravings
The morning sickness,
The sudden aversion to favourite food.
Stop smoking and drinking, and also encourage our partners to do the same.

The truth is miscarriages occur in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, and about 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. 80 percent occur in the first 12 months.

As you may or may not know mourning and grieving after a miscarriage is absolutely normal for both parents as the loss is significant. It does not matter at what stage the miscarriage happened, you have lost your baby. If you are feeling guilty, shocked, not able to sleep, sadness, sudden anger at your partner, and other women who have had successful pregnancies, that is ok, and is natural. Allow yourself to know that these are feeling of grief, of loss and bereavement, and as such, some hospitals are able to arrange a memorial, burial service or a cremation. There is help out there, you just need to access it.

Feeling lonely? You’re not alone: 8 simple ways to overcome isolation

14th March 201814th March 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Do you suffer from feelings of isolation and loneliness?

Everyone feels lonely sometimes. But if you feel this way severely or over a long period of time it can have a profound impact on your life. It can even lead to serious health issues like anxiety, depression, lowered immune system and disturbed sleep.

As a therapist I understand how painful and difficult these feelings are, but I’ve also seen that they can be eased. Identifying the cause of your loneliness will help you gain control over it. And there are steps you can take to help yourself overcome feelings of loneliness.

Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone

Loneliness isn’t the same as comfortably spending time by yourself. It’s the feeling of being unable to connect with others. And you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely – you might be surrounded by friends and family but feel detached from them.

What causes feelings of isolation?

Isolation and loneliness can affect anyone at any stage in life. In today’s society more people are feeling lonely because we tend to move away from family and don’t connect with our new neighbours. But you can also experience isolation if you feel unable to conform in a close-knit community.

Sometimes an event in your life can cause physical or emotional distance from others, like moving somewhere new, the loss of your health or a loved one, or the arrival of a new baby. Feeling different from others because of a language barrier or a disability can also cause acute loneliness. And if you’ve experienced physical or verbal abuse, this can make it difficult to trust people and make new connections.

If you feel isolated and lonely, you can find yourself withdrawing from others and avoiding social situations, which in turn makes the lonely feeling worse.

You can overcome your loneliness

While it can be hard work – especially at first – you can break the cycle and overcome loneliness and isolation. I’ve outlined below some simple steps you can take to heal yourself:

The gentle power of Hypnotherapy: could it help you?

28th January 201827th January 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Do you find yourself repeating the same negative thoughts and feelings, and wish you could change them? If so, hypnotherapy could be for you. Hypnotherapy can treat a range of difficulties, from depression to anxiety and insomnia. If you’re considering hypnotherapy, or curious about how it works, you’re in the right place! Read on to learn about its gentle power to heal.

What is hypnotherapy?

There’s still a bit of stigma around hypnotherapy. Think of the word ‘hypnosis’ and you might imagine a ghoulish man waving a pocket watch in your face, or people on stage clucking like chickens. While you probably wouldn’t worry about clucking in the therapy room (I hope!), it’s easy to assume there’s an element of mind control involved.

Actually, during a hypnotherapy session you’re aware and in full control throughout. The therapist guides you into a very relaxed state, quietening your conscious thoughts to access the intuitive power of your subconscious. Think of it like a rushing, frantic river flowing into a calm, peaceful lake.