We all know how hard it is when our friends have lost someone they have loved be it a child, parent, spouse, relative, friend. Has this led you to not contacting them because you don’t know what to say or how to behave? Have you walked across the road, or turned into another shopping aisle when you see your friend? These are all behaviours that we tend to adopt when we are out of our comfort zone. The truth is there is no manual on how to behave, it is all in your own hands how you be behave. What you can do is imagine what you would like your friends to say to you if that had happened to you. That will always give you a starting point.
Losing a baby before they are born is painful, heart wrenching, and it is so easy to blame ourselves for miscarrying. The torment of thinking of the “I should have done this” happens. Those words are your emotions talking, and in reality this is not true, as soon as we find out we are pregnant, we automatically start becoming careful, we:-
- Start eating more healthy, avoiding eating food which is not good for us,
- Have cravings
- The morning sickness,
- The sudden aversion to favourite food.
- Stop smoking and drinking, and also encourage our partners to do the same.
The truth is miscarriages occur in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, and about 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. 80 percent occur in the first 12 months.
As you may or may not know mourning and grieving after a miscarriage is absolutely normal for both parents as the loss is significant. It does not matter at what stage the miscarriage happened, you have lost your baby. If you are feeling guilty, shocked, not able to sleep, sadness, sudden anger at your partner, and other women who have had successful pregnancies, that is ok, and is natural. Allow yourself to know that these are feeling of grief, of loss and bereavement, and as such, some hospitals are able to arrange a memorial, burial service or a cremation. There is help out there, you just need to access it.
Do you suffer from feelings of isolation and loneliness?
Everyone feels lonely sometimes. But if you feel this way severely or over a long period of time it can have a profound impact on your life. It can even lead to serious health issues like anxiety, depression, lowered immune system and disturbed sleep.
As a therapist I understand how painful and difficult these feelings are, but I’ve also seen that they can be eased. Identifying the cause of your loneliness will help you gain control over it. And there are steps you can take to help yourself overcome feelings of loneliness.
Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone
Loneliness isn’t the same as comfortably spending time by yourself. It’s the feeling of being unable to connect with others. And you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely – you might be surrounded by friends and family but feel detached from them.
What causes feelings of isolation?
Isolation and loneliness can affect anyone at any stage in life. In today’s society more people are feeling lonely because we tend to move away from family and don’t connect with our new neighbours. But you can also experience isolation if you feel unable to conform in a close-knit community.
Sometimes an event in your life can cause physical or emotional distance from others, like moving somewhere new, the loss of your health or a loved one, or the arrival of a new baby. Feeling different from others because of a language barrier or a disability can also cause acute loneliness. And if you’ve experienced physical or verbal abuse, this can make it difficult to trust people and make new connections.
If you feel isolated and lonely, you can find yourself withdrawing from others and avoiding social situations, which in turn makes the lonely feeling worse.
You can overcome your loneliness
While it can be hard work – especially at first – you can break the cycle and overcome loneliness and isolation. I’ve outlined below some simple steps you can take to heal yourself:
Do you find yourself repeating the same negative thoughts and feelings, and wish you could change them? If so, hypnotherapy could be for you. Hypnotherapy can treat a range of difficulties, from depression to anxiety and insomnia. If you’re considering hypnotherapy, or curious about how it works, you’re in the right place! Read on to learn about its gentle power to heal.
What is hypnotherapy?
There’s still a bit of stigma around hypnotherapy. Think of the word ‘hypnosis’ and you might imagine a ghoulish man waving a pocket watch in your face, or people on stage clucking like chickens. While you probably wouldn’t worry about clucking in the therapy room (I hope!), it’s easy to assume there’s an element of mind control involved.
Actually, during a hypnotherapy session you’re aware and in full control throughout. The therapist guides you into a very relaxed state, quietening your conscious thoughts to access the intuitive power of your subconscious. Think of it like a rushing, frantic river flowing into a calm, peaceful lake.