Losing a baby before they are born is painful, heart wrenching, and it is so easy to blame ourselves for miscarrying. The torment of thinking of the “I should have done this” happens. Those words are your emotions talking, and in reality this is not true, as soon as we find out we are pregnant, we automatically start becoming careful, we:-
- Start eating more healthy, avoiding eating food which is not good for us,
- Have cravings
- The morning sickness,
- The sudden aversion to favourite food.
- Stop smoking and drinking, and also encourage our partners to do the same.
The truth is miscarriages occur in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, and about 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. 80 percent occur in the first 12 months.
As you may or may not know mourning and grieving after a miscarriage is absolutely normal for both parents as the loss is significant. It does not matter at what stage the miscarriage happened, you have lost your baby. If you are feeling guilty, shocked, not able to sleep, sadness, sudden anger at your partner, and other women who have had successful pregnancies, that is ok, and is natural. Allow yourself to know that these are feeling of grief, of loss and bereavement, and as such, some hospitals are able to arrange a memorial, burial service or a cremation. There is help out there, you just need to access it.