Author: Khurshid Ali | Breakthrough Counselling

9 tips to help you get a better night’s sleep

17th February 201917th February 2019 by Khurshid Ali

Do you struggle to get to sleep? We’ve all had nights where we can’t switch off, or wake up frequently. But if you’re regularly not able to sleep well it’s called insomnia, and it can affect your daily life. You might find it difficult to concentrate or remember things, and have more negative thoughts. Disturbed sleep can also impact relationships and make everyday tasks challenging.

Insomnia can have lots of possible causes, and worrying about not sleeping can itself make it harder to go to sleep. But there are things you can do to help relax your mind and body so you can drift off more easily, and sleep better through the night:

Going through a tough time? Here’s how to boost your resilience

17th February 201930th November 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Life has a habit of throwing obstacles in our path, often when we’re least expecting them. Loss and misfortune may impact your life, but you can control how you react to these events. Whatever challenge you’re facing, boosting your emotional resilience can help you weather the storm.

What is emotional resilience?

Resilience isn’t about pushing yourself to get over adversity before you’re ready. And it doesn’t mean you should cope with difficulties without being affected by them.

Actually, being resilient means you’re able to acknowledge your emotions, and respond in a constructive way. With self-awareness and self-care, you can adapt to challenging situations without being overwhelmed.

Fight the fear: 7 ways to overcome anxiety

17th February 201913th September 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Do you often feel overwhelmed with worry? Do you find yourself feeling panicky, or have trouble sleeping? If this sounds familiar, you may have anxiety. And you’re not alone: anxiety affects one in five people in the UK.

As a therapist I understand how difficult life can be if you have anxiety, and I want you to know you can overcome it. Read on to find out more about anxiety and the steps you can take to recover.

What is anxiety?

We all get anxious sometimes. It’s a natural response that puts our mind and body in ‘fight or flight’ mode and helps us react faster to potential challenges. But if we feel anxious very often or very severely, this impacts our quality of life.

Because anxiety affects the way you think, everyday situations may seem dangerous. You might avoid certain people or places, or stay late at work to check you haven’t made a mistake. Anxiety causes physical changes too, which aren’t dangerous in themselves but can feel very unpleasant and scary.

What is counselling, and can it help me heal?

17th February 201910th July 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Are you going through a difficult time? Are considering counselling as a solution for you or someone you know? I understand seeking therapy can feel daunting, and perhaps you’re not sure if it’s the right step. The good news is counselling can help with many difficulties, and as a trained counsellor I’ve seen first-hand how it improves lives.

To help you decide whether it’s the right choice for you, I’ll explain how counselling can benefit you, and what to expect during your first session.

What is counselling?

When you go to counselling, you’re invited to talk through your problems with a trained therapist. It’s sometimes called ‘talking therapy’. The therapist will listen attentively to whatever you need to discuss. He or she will never judge you, but will always seek to understand your point of view.

Are you hiding your depression?

17th February 20199th July 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Are the following resonating with you?

1. constantly feeling tired

1. feel like you have no energy left to to do daily chores

1. not wanting to socialise

1. Using alcohol and substances a lot

Suicidal thoughts

These are all signs of depression, which can be masked or denied. Are you stunned, surprised thinking I have everything, and I shouldn’t being this way.

Depression is a feeling which surpasses culture, religion, social status etc. We are all unique, and have different life experiences which make up us. If we are feeling depressed remember there is always as a cause and a reason. This can be childhood abuse, domestic abuse, bullying etc. It is well known that these issues can cause depression. I feel I also need to point out, that depression can hit you at any point, even after the incidences.

How to cope after losing your baby

17th February 201911th May 2018 by Khurshid Ali

If you’re here because you or someone you know has lost a baby, I’m so sorry. Any bereavement is painful, but the loss of a child is devastating. Whatever the age of your child, and whatever the circumstances, having to bury a child is out of the natural order of things. It’s the most difficult thing a parent can face.

Losing your baby early in pregnancy can be just as heart-breaking because you form a close bond with your child as soon as you find out about the pregnancy. You imagine your future as a new parent and your child growing up, and with the loss of your baby your dreams and expectations are lost too.

There’s no wrong way to feel

The importance of self care

17th February 201927th April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Do you remember the days when you would have a day to wash your hair, or have a girly night out with friends to relax? That is caring for yourself, and enjoying life.

If you have suffered a tragedy through some form of loss, those days just become past memories, as you tend to feel that, that was a different you, and now you are not the same. Your point is true, however, you can still find ways to self care without feeling guilty, or feeling as though you don’t deserve to be happy. Are you aware that Happiness and self care are not the same thing. They appear that way but they are not. Are you wondering what is the difference? Self Care is is looking after yourself daily, bathing, household chores, looking after family if you have them. Happiness is a state of emotion, encompassing joy.

The importance of identifying signs of anger

17th February 201917th April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Anger as we know, is part and parcel of our lives and stems from unresolved issues we have over time. When our handling capacity has reached its peak, anger can emerge as we panic, and are unable to see a way forward.

There are tell-tale emotions that we can identify with, and should look out for which are listed below.

Signs to look out for

Emotions stirring within the body – feeling of some emotion stirring in the body and heading upwards. This can feel like a volcano erupting, or steam coming out from your ears. It is important you listen to what they are telling you, as this is the sign that you need to take a step back and see what is happening in your life, and see if it is something you can change.

6 things to help support your friends through their grieving process

17th February 20193rd April 2018 by Khurshid Ali

We all know how hard it is when our friends have lost someone they have loved be it a child, parent, spouse, relative, friend. Has this led you to not contacting them because you don’t know what to say or how to behave? Have you walked across the road, or turned into another shopping aisle when you see your friend? These are all behaviours that we tend to adopt when we are out of our comfort zone. The truth is there is no manual on how to behave, it is all in your own hands how you be behave. What you can do is imagine what you would like your friends to say to you if that had happened to yo Inspiring note u. That will always give you a starting point.

What can I do? How you can help overcome your fear:

Miscarriage is a terrible loss, but there are ways you can move forward

19th March 201819th March 2018 by Khurshid Ali

Losing a baby before they are born is painful, heart wrenching, and it is so easy to blame ourselves for miscarrying. The torment of thinking of the “I should have done this” happens. Those words are your emotions talking, and in reality this is not true, as soon as we find out we are pregnant, we automatically start becoming careful, we:-

Start eating more healthy, avoiding eating food which is not good for us,
Have cravings
The morning sickness,
The sudden aversion to favourite food.
Stop smoking and drinking, and also encourage our partners to do the same.

The truth is miscarriages occur in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, and about 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. 80 percent occur in the first 12 months.

As you may or may not know mourning and grieving after a miscarriage is absolutely normal for both parents as the loss is significant. It does not matter at what stage the miscarriage happened, you have lost your baby. If you are feeling guilty, shocked, not able to sleep, sadness, sudden anger at your partner, and other women who have had successful pregnancies, that is ok, and is natural. Allow yourself to know that these are feeling of grief, of loss and bereavement, and as such, some hospitals are able to arrange a memorial, burial service or a cremation. There is help out there, you just need to access it.