Anger as we know, is part and parcel of our lives and stems from unresolved issues we have over time. When our handling capacity has reached its peak, anger can emerge as we panic, and are unable to see a way forward.
There are tell-tale emotions that we can identify with, and should look out for which are listed below.
Signs to look out for
Emotions stirring within the body – feeling of some emotion stirring in the body and heading upwards. This can feel like a volcano erupting, or steam coming out from your ears. It is important you listen to what they are telling you, as this is the sign that you need to take a step back and see what is happening in your life, and see if it is something you can change.
What you can do is, take deep breaths to relax yourself, and do something practical as for yourself such going for for a walk to clear your ahead.
Biting someone’s head off for no reason – we have all done that. One minute we are having a normal conversation, and the next shouting at someone for no apparent reason. A part of us know we are overreacting and feel bad. This happens as the feeling of not being in control overtakes us and we are desperately trying to find a way out, and we can’t. At this stage if someone says one thing we dont like, we will react.
What you are able to to is talk to your friends and explain what you are feeling, it may be possible for them to offer you some help. If you are in debt, they might be able to offer some money, or give you details of some organisations that might be able to help, if you have lost your job, and feel bad, they might be able to direct you to someone who is hiring, if you have been told you are terminally ill, or your child, partner, parent, unborn child, is, they can offer you a listening ear. As you can see, the lists of what friends can do is endless.
Wanting to hit something and someone – this is something we have all done – thrown objects across the room, invited fights for no reason. As you can imagine, this is the stage where your anger is reaching boiling point.
What you can do is, find a solitary place and just let out a scream – are you thinking, is she really telling me to scream – I am, as this allows you to let out your feelings. Another thing you could do it, find a pillow or a cushion, hit those – they are soft and won’t cause you any physical harm.
Alienating friends and family – This usually happens when we feel like we have failed in life – this could be to a loss of a job, bereavement, failure as a person. Left untreated these feelings turn into bitterness, and then culminate in anger. We end up saying cruel and hurtful things to the people we love because we are hurting and we are unable to vocalise this hurt.
What you can do is take some time out for yourself – and seek professional help. Get counselling and go to see your GP. You deserve to be happy and not have these feelings take over.
How I can help
- I can provide you with empathic understanding, a place to talk and allow you to explore where this anger came from and work with you to resolve these issues.
- If your anger resulted from childhood we can talk about that, if it is to do with feeling like you failed – we can look at what you had achieved – and how we can bring that feeling back into your life in other ways.
- We can work towards finding ways for you express this anger in safe ways such as doing physical activities.
- I can also provide you with relaxation techniques to help you manage to control your anger. See my blog post on hypnotherapy, and how it can help you